I want you to to kiss my forehead before you ever kiss my lips
not because it’s cliche
but because you want to communicate to me that you care
because caring is the beginning of the kind of love that I am
because we mistake everything for love
I don’t want you to love me the fleeting way you love chocolate, or pie or rib eye or even scotch
I want your heart to peacefully open at me the way it does when you sit facing a technicolored sunset on the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean under a perfect sky
you can remember this love, now, if you close your eyes, invading your cells
I want to feel that when you kiss my forehead
After you’ve seen my good days, my bad days, my blah days
doubt and fear breath through my eyes
excitement burst through my smile and the pitch in my voice
and a single tear, containing a million sobs, well up and slide down my cheek
after we’ve brushed against eachother a million times, insignificantly
and that one time, you knew
and even though you’ve craved my hips since the first time we met
that one time, you knew you first had to show me that you care
I want you to want what’s best for me, not for you
Chicken soup at my door, without a sound
even when you know I want to see you
you know that sleep is more important
I want you to tell someone, “that’s my job now
to protect her and stand up for her
even though she’s strong
I’m going to stand proud and do what’s right, always
and when she whispers to me, “Baby, that’s not right” or “You hurt me” and my heart cringes at her disapproval
I know she knows, and I look at her, without saying a word, she knows I will right my wrongs”
I want to smile at you from a short distance when you’re being kind to (any) woman and feel pride,
“That’s my man – my wonderful man”
I want to fall asleep knowing you’re huddled against me because there’s no one else that would fit so perfectly in that space. And on that one time when you need to turn the opposite way in the night, I want to turn with you and let you feel me, now, huddled against you, clumsily, because I’m smaller. Because even though I know you’re my man, and you’ve got me, I will turn with you and let you feel the love and warmth that you provide for me night after night.
I don’t want this, it just is – that no man has reached the depths of my pleasure they way you have. Consistently feeling my every movement and responding to it. Always finding the place where two worlds collide. It just is. I am one of the so very lucky few that got it all. Worlds that never meet, are fully intertwined in how we love.
I want all of this, after you’ve first kissed my forehead. Silently whispering, “I care about you, I care about your heart.”
Never asking for anything back.
SuzyQ